Mother's Day

There's a lot of stuff making the rounds 'round the net this week about moms.  Mostly, they say in different language and with different examples all the ways moms are awesome, which is absolutely true.

So, I'm not going to tell you all the ways moms are awesome, even though they are, that horse has been beat to death.  What I'm going to tell you about is pregnancy.

The funny thing about being pregnant is that there's really no metaphor for what it's like...I know, I've been trying to think of one.  The closest thing I can come up with is it's sort of like running a very long race and the finish line is coming up and you can't take a break or do anything (natural) to slow down, change your course, or stop the race.  And, right before the finish line is painful, and afterwards, is the best prize ever.  And, of course the entire time, there's the dread of the pain fighting the desire to see the prize, on top of the apprehension, excitement, fear of the unknown and what-could-go-wrong, and the fantasy about what it will be like.  All these increase the closer you get to the finish line.

No wonder not even quite halfway through this pregnancy (my third), I'm already having sleepless nights.  As much as we try not to think about it, it's impossible not to dread and hope and plan.  In fact, I think it's even normal...though, in my experience so far, the things that I fear are rarely the bad things that happen, though bad things do happen.  And the things that I think I will have a handle on I usually don't.

So, to all you expectant moms, with all the emotion and thoughts and hormones making you feel like one minute you wish you could could put the breaks on the crazy train you're on, and the next so overwhelmed with expectation that you wish you could just skip over to the love and the cuddles and the sniffing the tiny baby head (or am I the only one that stays awake thinking about that?), Happy Mother's Day.  Especially if it's your first, you may not even feel like a mother yet, but you are experiencing a unique and limited moment in motherhood, nurturing, protecting, worrying about and loving your baby as much as any mother does.

The Tyrant

Does this look like the face of oppression to you?

Because he is.  The tyrannical ruler of Sam's bedroom.

The last few days, toys, mostly but not limited to stuffed animals, started making their way out of Sam's bedroom and into the hallway or my bedroom or Jubilee's bedroom or downstairs.  I tell Sam to clean them up, and he does somewhat, but I still find them in odd places, even the bathroom or hiding in the closets.

This morning, at around 6am, Sam came into my bedroom carrying an armful of stuffed animals, including his favorite bear and a stuffed Wall-e.  He dumped them on the floor next to my bed, and walked away, presumably to get even more toys.  Of course, at 6am, I was half asleep, so I mutter, "Sam, what are you doing?"

"Bringing my animals."

"Why?  They go in your room."

"Puppy is angry at the animals."

"Wha...?"

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is, I don't know what the other toys in Sam's room did wrong, all I know is, they are in Puppy's bad graces.

Facebook 101 (for moms)

We've all seen them, the 10-most-annoying-people-on-Facebook lists, with moms being on the top of the list, beating out even duckface teen girls and vague whiners ("My life is over!").  With the invention of unbaby.me in particular, I found myself feeling rather self-conscious every time I wanted to share something silly my kid did, or post yet another picture of them eating bacon.

I've decided to stop feeling weird about it, though, because I stinkin' love baby pictures.  In fact, that's sort of a general thing across the board, I want to share the things the people I care about love.  Babies, a well-cooked meal, an awesome vacation, any of the stereotypical "annoying" things, if it's someone I genuinely care about, of course I want to see it.  Why wouldn't I?  Thus, I have to assume that the people I care about feel the same way about me and my kids.

I think the problem has less to do with over sharing than over friending.  Do I necessarily care that a person I barely knew in my math class in 2nd grade had a kid?  Not really.  Do I want to see an endless stream of pictures of that baby?  Nope.

My niece, on the other hand?  Post those stinkin' pictures!  I want to see every smeared avocado and walk in the park and haircut.

My friends, I love to read about the funny thing your kid said.  I want to know that they're finally going potty 95% of the time.  I want to know that they love graham crackers.  I want to know that they slept through the night for the first (or second, or third, or fifteenth) time.  I want to know that they came down with the sniffles.  I want to know...if I didn't want to know, I'd be a friendly acquaintance at best, not a friend.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, if you're a mom, don't worry about being annoying.  Share what you love, with the people you love.

Besides, we're moms.  I don't know about you, but I don't have enough energy to make sure everyone eats enough veggies, vacuum the floor, AND play pirate treasure, so why bother wasting energy trying to maintain my "cool?"  It's just not practical.

That's no excuse to wear mom jeans, though.

If you're annoyed with someone's baby's pictures, unfriend them.  If you don't care enough to be joyful in a person's exuberance over the person they created, you don't really like them that much anyway.  I'm not saying that to be mean, it's perfectly okay to realize that you don't value the same things that someone else values.

So, here are my quick rules for Facebook for Moms:

1) Focus on quality, not quantity, in all areas of Facebook.  This includes paring down friends to people you are actually friends with and care about.  You might also think about not posting twenty fuzzy baby pictures that look exactly the same, pick out the best few.  And your description of your kid's poop better be funny enough to justify the gross factor.

That's it.  That's the rule(s).  You're welcome.