Just A Little Bit Of Perspective

I don't know if you've noticed this, but haven't been online much, on FB or this blog or pinterest or anything really.  There are a few reasons for this:

1.  Sitting down in front of my computer makes me sleepy and queasy.  Seriously.  It's easier to sit in front of the tv, or lay down with a book when my kids are in school or otherwise occupied (thank heaven for Disney Junior).

2.  I'm actually still online, I'm just quietly stalking everyone.  Mwahahahaha.  Not seriously.

3.  I feel even more isolated than usual every time I read about my friends in other states hanging out with other people.

4.  I don't really have much to say right now, at least not complain-y stuff.  I could fill whole books with "gah, I hate morning sickness (or as I liked to call it, all-day sickness)," or "I'm so tired," or "I'm so cold," or "emotions are dummy dumb dumb faces (giggle, sob)," or "is there any chance I'll stop craving Chocolate Malt Ovaltine any time soon?" but that would be boring, so I'm trying not to do it.  I think I'm still doing it more than I should, but I'm trying to suck it up.  Haha.

Rich, chocolately Ovaltine

The thing is, when you walk around in an exhausted haze all day, are unable to eat anything but "white" food (white flour, sugar, potatoes, milk, etc), and are freezing all day long, it's hard to take a step back and "be joyful."  But the reality is, despite how miserable and tired I feel physically, I'm actually really happy.  I feel relatively content with where we are and what we are doing.   I'm super happy with our family dynamic and our belongings and lifestyle.

There are parts of my life that I truly believe couldn't get much better, and those are the parts that really matter.  For instance, my super sweet, supportive husband, who doesn't seem to mind that we've been eating mostly PB&J or cereal for dinner for over a week now and that the house is starting to look like it's been in a tornado's path.    He also brings me Häagen-Dazs every time he goes to the store (that, ladies, is what you call a keeper).

Or, my awesome kids, who think everything is hilarious, and know innately that life is an adventure.  They definitely don't mind the PB&J or cereal for dinner, they are grateful for a temporary reprieve from my culinary experiments.

Plus, no matter how isolated or lonely I feel, I only have to drive 5 minutes in nearly any direction to see something this, which sort of puts everything into perspective for me.

It's also nice knowing that all my sleeplessness at night, exhaustion by day, food aversions, food cravings, random crying, random crazy laughing, is all for a purpose.  A great purpose, too, we're going to have another kid who thinks everything is hilarious, and knows innately that life is an adventure.  It's going to be worth it, it's already worth it...I wouldn't trade my physical misery for anything.

Hey, and at least it's temporary.  Soon, the morning sickness will be over, and even more sleepiness nights will kick in as my hormones go even crazier and my body gets weird and hippo-y.  And then I'll start craving Popeye's spicy chicken sandwiches and toasted ravioli.  And then the horrible rib pain and leg cramps and the peeing every 2 minutes...followed by giving birth (shudder)...and then as my hormones finally relax enough for me to be able to fall and stay asleep, I'll have a baby to take over as my tiny, crazy, frequent alarm clock.  But at least he/she will be cute, awesome, and worth it!  That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.