Monday, January 7, 2013

Yet Another Post About Mom Guilt

As I mentioned the other day, I'm doing a 30 day dietary "reset," I'm about 20% done with it, actually.  It's going surprising well so far, at least where eating is concerned, not a lot of cravings, in fact, the diet it's a lot easier than I thought it would be and I have a lot of support.  The hardest thing about it is, I'm sure you guessed by the title, mom guilt.

At first, it's sort of hard to imagine why simply cutting a few items out of one's diet would be enough to convince a person that they are a horrible mom.  But, if you've ever done it, you know you spend a LOT of time thinking about what you can't eat.  And if you've cut a major staple like meat or, in my case, grains out of your diet, you spend a LOT of time trying to come up with new recipes...chunks of meat with veggies loses its' appeal, sooner rather than later.  Plus, actually having to cook three meals a day when you can't just pour a bowl of cereal or make a sandwich is time consuming, especially since there's not a lot of nitrate, msg, sugar, grain-free meat and veggie "convenience items."  Dieting really is consuming, mentally, emotionally, and chronologically.  And the first thing a mom feels, when consumed by the thought of something other than her wee bairns, is guilt.

It's also hard on the kids.  If you're used to eating sugar, not eating sugar can make you crabby, that's all I'm gonna say about that.  On my particular diet I can drink coffee, but if you've ever tried not drinking coffee, you know that your attitude can weigh on your kids, too.  Also, suddenly, the way your kids are used to eating changes, and they don't really like it.  Either they have to eat your "diet" food, in my case means a lot of veggies and a lot of spice a lot of the time, which they won't eat enough of to sustain them for very long, or a lot of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches which really isn't a well-balanced diet.  More mom guilt.

Anyway, it's funny to realize that the thing that hinders me most is feeling like I'm letting down my kids in some way, by trying to get healthier.  But, it's really about short term goals vs. long term goals.  No, I don't want to be snappy today, but if they have to deal with me being a little withdrawn now so that I can be healthy overall, it's worth it.  I think it's worth it.


  1. I know the feeling. I told Russ the other day that I feel like if I do one thing good, something else has to suffer. If I want to cook a better meal, Ezra has to watch more TV. If I take the time to do projects with him or take him out somewhere so he's not watching TV, I don't have the time or energy to cook. Same with cleaning! It's so frustrating. I just try to do what I can and ignore the guilt I feel for the stuff I"m not getting done... blah...

    And trying to adjust his diet is frustrating. I eventually want to go grain-free with this entire family but i just don't see how right now!!

  2. Yeah. We tried to do it once, when Jubee was 1 and Sam was 2. They both lost weight, like, really. I finally had to start giving them PB&J sandwiches again, just so they'd be at a healthy weight. That thing about "kids will eat when they are hungry," well, I don't think it's all kids. Mine didn't eat after a few weeks of "being hungry."