10/08

When I was a sophomore in high school, I had a geography class that let out at 10:08.  Don't ask me why I remember that, I don't remember when any of my other classes let out that year or in the years preceding or following.  It wasn't such an awful class that I stared at the clock waiting for it to be over, either, or such a great class I dreaded it being over.  It's just a mystery.

Since then, I've noticed that 10:08 is used a lot in clock and watch advertisements, and very time I see it, I think, "hey, geography is over."

It actually makes me happy, when I check my clock and that's what it says.  I also have a vague feeling of expectation, like something should happen, every 10/08.  Again, I don't know why.  I'm not one of those people who reads secret meanings or conspiracies into stuff like that, and I'm not checking the 10th chapter and 8th verse of every book in the Bible.  I think it's just a weird thing that stuck in my brain and won't get out.

But this year, I really do have something to look forward to on October 8th.  That's the due date of baby #3!

Of course, if little baby fuzzy blob takes after his/her siblings at all, he/she won't be born until a week or two after that, but that's okay.  It just gives us more time to squeeze in my favorite fall things, like picking apples and visiting a pumpkin patch, before baby fuzzy blob is born.  It's gonna be an awesome fall!

But first, we have to get to that point.  Someone remind me that someday, relatively soon, I will be able to eat real food again.

Just A Little Bit Of Perspective

I don't know if you've noticed this, but haven't been online much, on FB or this blog or pinterest or anything really.  There are a few reasons for this:

1.  Sitting down in front of my computer makes me sleepy and queasy.  Seriously.  It's easier to sit in front of the tv, or lay down with a book when my kids are in school or otherwise occupied (thank heaven for Disney Junior).

2.  I'm actually still online, I'm just quietly stalking everyone.  Mwahahahaha.  Not seriously.

3.  I feel even more isolated than usual every time I read about my friends in other states hanging out with other people.

4.  I don't really have much to say right now, at least not complain-y stuff.  I could fill whole books with "gah, I hate morning sickness (or as I liked to call it, all-day sickness)," or "I'm so tired," or "I'm so cold," or "emotions are dummy dumb dumb faces (giggle, sob)," or "is there any chance I'll stop craving Chocolate Malt Ovaltine any time soon?" but that would be boring, so I'm trying not to do it.  I think I'm still doing it more than I should, but I'm trying to suck it up.  Haha.

Rich, chocolately Ovaltine

The thing is, when you walk around in an exhausted haze all day, are unable to eat anything but "white" food (white flour, sugar, potatoes, milk, etc), and are freezing all day long, it's hard to take a step back and "be joyful."  But the reality is, despite how miserable and tired I feel physically, I'm actually really happy.  I feel relatively content with where we are and what we are doing.   I'm super happy with our family dynamic and our belongings and lifestyle.

There are parts of my life that I truly believe couldn't get much better, and those are the parts that really matter.  For instance, my super sweet, supportive husband, who doesn't seem to mind that we've been eating mostly PB&J or cereal for dinner for over a week now and that the house is starting to look like it's been in a tornado's path.    He also brings me Häagen-Dazs every time he goes to the store (that, ladies, is what you call a keeper).

Or, my awesome kids, who think everything is hilarious, and know innately that life is an adventure.  They definitely don't mind the PB&J or cereal for dinner, they are grateful for a temporary reprieve from my culinary experiments.

Plus, no matter how isolated or lonely I feel, I only have to drive 5 minutes in nearly any direction to see something this, which sort of puts everything into perspective for me.

It's also nice knowing that all my sleeplessness at night, exhaustion by day, food aversions, food cravings, random crying, random crazy laughing, is all for a purpose.  A great purpose, too, we're going to have another kid who thinks everything is hilarious, and knows innately that life is an adventure.  It's going to be worth it, it's already worth it...I wouldn't trade my physical misery for anything.

Hey, and at least it's temporary.  Soon, the morning sickness will be over, and even more sleepiness nights will kick in as my hormones go even crazier and my body gets weird and hippo-y.  And then I'll start craving Popeye's spicy chicken sandwiches and toasted ravioli.  And then the horrible rib pain and leg cramps and the peeing every 2 minutes...followed by giving birth (shudder)...and then as my hormones finally relax enough for me to be able to fall and stay asleep, I'll have a baby to take over as my tiny, crazy, frequent alarm clock.  But at least he/she will be cute, awesome, and worth it!  That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

An Announcement

Since 90% of my 10 readers are also friends of mine on facebook, this is going to come as no huge shock, but here it goes: our household size is about to go from just under the national average to just above it.  Exciting, right?  We're excited.

It's kind of hard planning for a third kid.  The other two were so close together and so chaotic it feels more like I've only had one pregnancy that lasted 23 months and resulted in Irish twins.  I had a lot of hand-me-downs, and like most brand new moms, a large amount of have-to-have baby gear.  This time, though, I sort of have an idea of what gear I actually use (very little), so there's much less planning.  Before, nine months didn't seem long enough to get everything ready for the kid, now, I'm pretty sure I could have everything I need in one trip to Target.

If any of you are on the fence about increasing your family size, I gotta say, I suggest it.  Yeah, pregnancy still isn't fun, and I'm sure birth won't be fun and the sleepless nights won't be fun, but already this baby is less stressful than the other two were.  I've stopped reading mommy blogs totally, not because I hate them, just because I no longer feel like I need mommy validation.  Is that weird...that the more kids I have, the less freaked out I am about screwing them up?  Probably, but that's okay.  I think it's because now I have enough perspective to see how much I've already screwed up, and my kids are still happy, generally healthy, and on their way to being productive members of society.

Not to say there aren't stressors in my life.  I'm pretty dang freaked out about living here in Wyoming so far from all my family and friends.  I wish I lived in a place where I knew some people well enough to get a casserole or three delivered after the baby comes.  My husband's job here isn't very stable anyway, he gets paid pretty well and he loves his work, but the company he works for could move him at any time to any part of the country.  Having moved both 8 months pregnant (with Sam) and 1 week after giving birth (with Jubilee), the prospect of doing it again does not sound pleasant at all.

Anyway, a favor.  If you think about it, send up a few prayers for us.  Yes, stability, a house and a few friends would be awesome, but mostly I think we just need peace that it's all going to work out, and we need some perspective.  Even if we have to move within a month before or after giving birth, it's not the end of the world, we've done it twice already.  Even if we have to order pizza for a week after the baby comes, we can do that.  It's going to be okay, I know that in my head, I just wish I knew it in my heart.