Friday, April 13, 2012

Social Awkwardness in a New Town: Part 2

You want to hear something awful?  I haven't even met anyone else in our building yet.  We live on the top floor of a building that has 4 other apartments.  I just can't think of a good way to go downstairs and say, "hi, I'm the person whose kids stand on the floor above your bedroom and jump up and down every morning at 6am.  Oh, and that I'm-being-murdered shriek you hear every day at 1pm?  That's just me trying to convince my 4-year old to take a nap, I swear I'm not beating him.  Please don't call the's some cookies."  On second thought, I should probably start baking.

A few weeks ago, we decided to drive to Denver.  It's a 2-2.5 hour drive from here, so manageable, though I wouldn't want to do it every day.  The Pioneer Woman was supposed to have a book signing from 4-7pm there, and we wanted to visit Ikea and jump on couches.  The last book signing I went to was Orson Scott Card at a library years ago, so I didn't realize I should be there hours early.  We showed up only a half hour early, and they gave me a number, 581, so we didn't have to stand in line until the last hour and a half or so.

At 4pm, I was standing on the outskirts of the crowd when the Pioneer Woman walked in, and passed right next to me.  She said, "hi!"  I froze.  The people around me all yelled, "hi Ree!" in unison.  I said, "um, mmm, ah."

At nearly 10pm, I had my book signed.  So here's how the conversation with the Pioneer Woman went:  

I said, "hi!"  I'd been practicing that "hi" for the last 6 hours, since I flopped on the first one.

She said, "hi."

I panicked and said, "I bet you're hungry, huh?  I mean, since you've been here for so long and haven't had anything to eat for pretty much ever, you know, right?" 

She said she was too distracted to be hungry immediately, but would be when she was done.   

Then I asked if I could get a picture, and she said sure, and then I waved over Cam, explaining to her that he had a better "phone on his camera.  I mean, camera on his phone.  I mean, whatever, ack!" which is why I'm laughing like a moron in this picture.  

And then Sam announced he was a "baby" and started crawling on his hands and knees across the filthy floor.  And then I picked up my book, muttered "thanks," and ran.  Haha.  Well, I guess it could've been worse, Orson Scott Card made fun of my tshirt when he signed my copy of Ender's Game.

Don't believe it, though, it's a lie.

My sister Katie later told me I should've said, "Hey, Ree, what's up? What, you don't remember me?  I'm CarlyW, I've won, like, two of your Word Nerd quizzes, for realz, but whatever."  Well, there's always a next time.

P.S. I realize how dorky mentioning going to Orson Scott Card's book signing, at the Public Library, makes me seem.  Just keep in mind, I was the only one there without a copy of his Iron Man graphic novel, so that makes me the coolest person in that room.  So there.

1 comment:

  1. oh this made me smile! glad you got to meet someone famous! :)